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My Rape Isn’t About You
In 2001 I dated a man who was studying to be a pastor at Dallas Baptist University. I felt good about myself, had been working out, building myself up to be a stronger me, and wanted to date a good guy for a change. Four months into our relationship I went to his place for a dinner of Chinese food and maybe a PG-rated make-out session, and that night he raped me. It’s been eighteen years since that night, and I still remember every single detail as vividly as if it had just happened. Eighteen years, so much therapy, my entire life flipped upside down, life on strong anti-depressants, more…
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Like Italian Food? Thank A Mexican!
The world is a melting pot, even if we don’t always see that. In the US, we have people who have immigrated from all over the globe, our numbers are Arabic, our letters mostly Latin, and our language is a strange amalgamation of words that came from so many different cultures, that most of the time we don’t even realize just how integrated we truly are. But here’s something you might not know: tomato pasta sauce didn’t start out in Italy. In fact, if you really love red sauce, you should thank a Mexican! See, way back when the Spanish called Mexico “New Spain,” they learned about a lot of different…
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SNL’s Adam Sandler Brought On The Tears With Tribute To Chris Farley
Comedy in the ’90s would never have been the same without Adam Sandler, Dana Carvey, SNL, and the great, late, Chris Farley. This was back when watching SNL meant actually staying up late on a Saturday night, and missing it meant that you’d be lost to all the jokes told around watercoolers and school lockers that Monday morning. Just as the generation before experienced great loss with John Belushi, the death of Chris Farley rocked our world, and twenty plus years later, we’re all still grieving his loss. The world is so full of loss these days that many of us may not have realized how we still grieve for…
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Do You Know What Causes Sulfur Burps?
It happened again last night: sitting outside, enjoying the evening when all the sudden burp. But this wasn’t the normal “excuse me” burp. This was sulfur, bubbling up from the depths of hell and escaping from my mouth. My eyes widened as both the taste and smell hit, and I said a little prayer of gratitude that no one else was sitting outside with me. Then I remembered that these burps never come in sets of one. It was going to be a long night. So, what causes sulfur burps? We don’t have them every day, so it’s not like this is a normal bodily function or something. Why do we…
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To The Guy Who Shouted “Whale” At Me While I Was Walking
Thank you for making me feel even shittier and more self-conscious than I already did about taking my fat ass out in public. It’s like you somehow instinctively knew that comparing my body in lycra to the giant of the sea would make things all the better. Sure, I’d been stressed about going out in the first place because of fellas like you with your big loud trucks and those fake testicles hanging off the hitch. I saw you high-fiving your buddy in the bitch seat so I bet he was super impressed with your observational skills and ability to suss out the proper response to seeing a fat woman…
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I Just Saw A Star Is Born, And Now I Need Therapy
I shouldn’t have to say this (because from the title it should be inferred), but this post is basically one big ol’ gigantor ‘spoiler’, and if you proceed you are doing so at your own risk. Literally, all I’m going to do is spoil spoil spoil A Star is Born, because that movie ripped my freaking heart out and now I need a hug, a snuggly blanket, and long-term, expensive therapy. You have been warned. I Just Saw A Star Is Born, And Now I Need Therapy To begin, I never saw the previous incarnations of A Star is Born. In fact, until last night I had no idea there…
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5 Ways To Survive The Holidays If You’re Single
Nine months out of the year being single is amazing. You get to date who you want, when you want. You get to go to pound-town with whomever, or hang out with your B.O.B. if that’s what you want. Walking around the house wearing nothing but ripped underwear, and socks that have foxes on them, and eating Haagen-Dazs Rum Raisin ice cream right out of the pint is no big deal because no one’s there to judge you. And yes, Rum Raisin is the best ice cream. But when you’re dating? You have to debate those things. And who wants to debate when there’s new episodes waiting to be binged on Netflix?…
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5 Reasons To Never Ever Double-Dip
Once upon a time he was your everything. The two of you made all the girly, silly selfies together. He met your friends – they didn’t hate him. You met his mom – she totally hated you. But, it was okay. Because he was still your everything. Until he wasn’t. And once things ended it was like your entire world shrank without notice. Suddenly avocado toast didn’t taste as good anymore. And that hand-sewn journal he got you for Christmas? Yeah, you can’t even look at it without crying. Every day feels like your world has been shrink-wrapped and like your life is getting smaller and smaller. Then he calls…
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Patrick Stewart Perfectly Illustrates How So Many Of Us End Up With ‘Foster Fails’
Patrick Stewart is currently fostering a pitbull, Ginger, courtesy of Wags and Walks, and the videos of Patrick and Ginger are everything. Anyone who has ever fostered a dog knows the goal is to eventually find a good home for said dog, but sometimes…sometimes the system fails. Seeing these two together is the ‘before’ shot of anyone who has ever had a ‘foster fail’ if I’ve ever seen one. Patrick Stewart Perfectly Illustrates How So Many Of Us End Up With ‘Foster Fails’ From the first time Ginger walks up to Patrick’s front door it is love at first sight. Pibble kisses, smiles, and a very happy Patrick Stewart. Then there’s…
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Am I The Only One Feeling Pokemon-Go Guilt?
So a couple of days ago Pokemon-Go came out, and social media went insane. Instead of the normal horrifying news, all I see in my feed are people catching Pokemon (is that what they’re even called?) and all these awesome stories of the cool things that have happened because of it. Not only that, but my closest friends all keep asking if I’m playing or not, and the truth is – I’m not. I don’t know why I’m not wanting to participate in Pokemon-Go, but the guilt is starting to overwhelm me! Am I The Only One Feeling Pokemon Go Guilt? Tonight I read a story posted by one of my…
Lil Miss Bossy Pants
