• 5 Truths About Guys Who Are 'Taking Care Of Their Parents'
    Ranty Rants

    5 Truths About Guys Who Are ‘Taking Care Of Their Parents’

    I’ve been there. I know it’s embarrassing to admit that you’ve hit adulthood and can’t quite make it and have to move back home with mom and dad. Nothing sucks quite so hard as living in your childhood bedroom as an adult, looking around at all your weird posters and knick-knacks and things that were suchabigdeal back in the day, and realizing just how truly lame you used to be (and maybe still are). Every bit of it is awful. Maybe it happens because you’re right out of college, and the job market isn’t as open to people with BAs in History as you thought it’d be. Maybe switching majors three…

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  • About

    Mary Duncanson, who also writes as Mary Malcolm, lives in North Texas with a menagerie of animals, and a feral boyfriend. When she’s not corraling her household, she’s talking to the characters in her head and hoping they talk back. When she’s not doing all that, she can be found wandering around Central Market with a happy, drooly foodie look on her face. Do not judge her, it is her Mecca. Mary’s been writing since she was a teenager though spent quite a few years studying toward becoming a doctor before she realized she wanted to be a full-time author. Unfortunately, the people who own her student loans still want…

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  • Dude, Your Girlfriend Is Effed
    Ranty Rants

    Dude, Your Girl Is Effed

    Searching through online dating sites, one of the things that always struck me was how many men are looking for women with no baggage. Like, they can forgive other things: their height, weight, whether or not they like ferrets, who they vote for in elections, or if she even votes at all… but, not baggage. These are grown men, mind. These are not twenty-somethings looking for other twenty-somethings to start a life with and hoping to find some sweet young thing. No, these are grown-ass, divorced, overweight, balding, living with their parents, smoking weed they bought off their kid’s teenage friend – men. Dating sites suck. I mean, they just…

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  • Like Italian Food? Thank A Mexican!
    Relate Much?

    Like Italian Food? Thank A Mexican!

    The world is a melting pot, even if we don’t always see that. In the US, we have people who have immigrated from all over the globe, our numbers are Arabic, our letters mostly Latin, and our language is a strange amalgamation of words that came from so many different cultures, that most of the time we don’t even realize just how integrated we truly are. But here’s something you might not know: tomato pasta sauce didn’t start out in Italy. In fact, if you really love red sauce, you should thank a Mexican! See, way back when the Spanish called Mexico “New Spain,” they learned about a lot of different…

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  • SNL's Adam Sandler Brought On The Tears With Tribute To Chris Farley
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    SNL’s Adam Sandler Brought On The Tears With Tribute To Chris Farley

    Comedy in the ’90s would never have been the same without Adam Sandler, Dana Carvey, SNL, and the great, late, Chris Farley. This was back when watching SNL meant actually staying up late on a Saturday night, and missing it meant that you’d be lost to all the jokes told around watercoolers and school lockers that Monday morning. Just as the generation before experienced great loss with John Belushi, the death of Chris Farley rocked our world, and twenty plus years later, we’re all still grieving his loss. The world is so full of loss these days that many of us may not have realized how we still grieve for…

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  • Gettin' It On

    3 Truths About The Three-Date Rule

    The dating world is such a weird place to live. Nobody uses recent photos of themselves online, nobody tells the truth about themselves offline, and after almost every date you’re left with a sense of wanting to join a convent somewhere and swear off men for life. Of course, if you join a convent you’re stuck fending off priests, so that might be just as bad. Still, the dating world sucks. One of the sucky things that I always hated was the three-date rule. That idea that if you don’t put out by date three, you’re either destined for the “friend-zone” or the just straight-up calling it off. 3 Truths…

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  • Bookish

    10 Ways To Take Care Of Yourself During NaNoWriMo

    Welcome to the first day of the rest of your novel! Whether you’re reading this in the first week or day 30, or maybe even after NaNo is over: Congratulations! Deciding to write is heavy business. Deciding to write during NaNoWriMo is both exhilarating and exhausting, which makes self-care even more important. Right now you maybe be looking at November as a chance to let go of the things you normally feel obligated to do: shower daily, not eat junk, laundry (oh, the laundry), but I want you to look at November a little differently. I want you to see this as a chance to take care of yourself better…

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  • Relate Much?

    Do You Know What Causes Sulfur Burps?

    It happened again last night: sitting outside, enjoying the evening when all the sudden burp. But this wasn’t the normal “excuse me” burp. This was sulfur, bubbling up from the depths of hell and escaping from my mouth. My eyes widened as both the taste and smell hit, and I said a little prayer of gratitude that no one else was sitting outside with me. Then I remembered that these burps never come in sets of one. It was going to be a long night. So, what causes sulfur burps? We don’t have them every day, so it’s not like this is a normal bodily function or something. Why do we…

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  • Dear Miss Bossy Pants:

    Dear Miss Bossy Pants: My Biological Clock Is Stressing Me Out

    Dear Miss Bossy Pants, I’m having a “biological time clock” problem. I’m not 100% sure if I’ll ever want to have kids, but I don’t want to shut out the idea completely because I may regret it later on. Right now I’m definitely not ready to have kids (reasons including lack of funds and lack of a partner), but once I get my act together in the next few years, I’ll be in a better position. When and if I have a kid, I want to be with my “forever person,” but the thought of dating right now absolutely terrifies me. But again, my clock is ticking, so I don’t…

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  • Relate Much?

    To The Guy Who Shouted “Whale” At Me While I Was Walking

    Thank you for making me feel even shittier and more self-conscious than I already did about taking my fat ass out in public. It’s like you somehow instinctively knew that comparing my body in lycra to the giant of the sea would make things all the better. Sure, I’d been stressed about going out in the first place because of fellas like you with your big loud trucks and those fake testicles hanging off the hitch. I saw you high-fiving your buddy in the bitch seat so I bet he was super impressed with your observational skills and ability to suss out the proper response to seeing a fat woman…

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