• Working Out Is A Pain In The Ass
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    Working Out Is A Pain In The Ass

    Somewhere toward the beginning of the pandemic, let’s say March or Aprilish, I realized that I (like so many others) had started putting on the pounds. Perhaps it was depression, or boredom, anxiety, maybe ordering in so many times because I couldn’t just go to the store whenever I wanted to pick-up what we wanted for dinner. Who knows. All I know is that once I realized it was piling on, I knew it needed to come back off. So I started dieting, and working out. And while the dieting isn’t so so bad (25 pounds down, thankyousomuch), I’m here to tell you, working out is a pain in the…

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  • When It Comes To Wearing Masks, Either Go Big - Or Stay Home!
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    When It Comes To Wearing Masks, Either Go Big – Or Stay Home!

    No, this isn’t yet another post about the importance of wearing masks. We all know it’s important at this point, or if you are reading this and still think COVID-19 is fake, then please kindly Eff-off. Seriously, we all get that you’re edgy and the government is trying to implant something in you because they aren’t already tracking you through your cellphone/Facebook account/social security number/tax returns/and fillings. But, I digress. This post isn’t about any of that. Actually, this post is about the fabulous masks being sold by Akira right now, and how I want every single one of them. Seriously, guys, when it comes to wearing masks, either got…

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  • It's Time To Talk About Menstruation At Work, Period.
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    It’s Time To Talk About Menstruation At Work, Period.

    Being on your period at work sucks. Pain aside, that washed out, exhausted feeling we all get makes working nearly impossible. If our managers don’t notice it’s because we’ve pushed through in a way that’s unhealthy, and that no one would expect if the pain were in any part of our body outside of our uterus. Yes it’s inconvenient when our period starts during a work week, but not talking about it doesn’t help anyone – us or our employers. Ladies, it’s time to talk about menstruation at work, period. It’s Time To Talk About Menstruation At Work, Period. When I was a teenager, I had sever ovulation pain that…

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  • James Victore. Racism. 1993
    Ranty Rants

    Racists Aren’t Monsters

    We live in a monster culture. When we talk about Hitler we talk about what a racist monster he was because who else but a monster could do what he did? When we talk about David Duke it’s knowing that as the head of the KKK, he’s a monster who works at recruiting other monsters. Right now we’re talking about Tucker Carlson because all the racist and sexist things he said under a pseudonym in an online forum are coming to light – what a monster. We all knew he was, just look at the things he said under his real name. Monster. We look at these people and think, Only…

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  • 5 Truths About Guys Who Are 'Taking Care Of Their Parents'
    Ranty Rants

    5 Truths About Guys Who Are ‘Taking Care Of Their Parents’

    I’ve been there. I know it’s embarrassing to admit that you’ve hit adulthood and can’t quite make it and have to move back home with mom and dad. Nothing sucks quite so hard as living in your childhood bedroom as an adult, looking around at all your weird posters and knick-knacks and things that were suchabigdeal back in the day, and realizing just how truly lame you used to be (and maybe still are). Every bit of it is awful. Maybe it happens because you’re right out of college, and the job market isn’t as open to people with BAs in History as you thought it’d be. Maybe switching majors three…

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  • About

    Mary Duncanson, who also writes as Mary Malcolm, lives in North Texas with a menagerie of animals, and a feral boyfriend. When she’s not corraling her household, she’s talking to the characters in her head and hoping they talk back. When she’s not doing all that, she can be found wandering around Central Market with a happy, drooly foodie look on her face. Do not judge her, it is her Mecca. Mary’s been writing since she was a teenager though spent quite a few years studying toward becoming a doctor before she realized she wanted to be a full-time author. Unfortunately, the people who own her student loans still want…

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  • Dude, Your Girlfriend Is Effed
    Ranty Rants

    Dude, Your Girl Is Effed

    Searching through online dating sites, one of the things that always struck me was how many men are looking for women with no baggage. Like, they can forgive other things: their height, weight, whether or not they like ferrets, who they vote for in elections, or if she even votes at all… but, not baggage. These are grown men, mind. These are not twenty-somethings looking for other twenty-somethings to start a life with and hoping to find some sweet young thing. No, these are grown-ass, divorced, overweight, balding, living with their parents, smoking weed they bought off their kid’s teenage friend – men. Dating sites suck. I mean, they just…

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  • Like Italian Food? Thank A Mexican!
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    Like Italian Food? Thank A Mexican!

    The world is a melting pot, even if we don’t always see that. In the US, we have people who have immigrated from all over the globe, our numbers are Arabic, our letters mostly Latin, and our language is a strange amalgamation of words that came from so many different cultures, that most of the time we don’t even realize just how integrated we truly are. But here’s something you might not know: tomato pasta sauce didn’t start out in Italy. In fact, if you really love red sauce, you should thank a Mexican! See, way back when the Spanish called Mexico “New Spain,” they learned about a lot of different…

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  • SNL's Adam Sandler Brought On The Tears With Tribute To Chris Farley
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    SNL’s Adam Sandler Brought On The Tears With Tribute To Chris Farley

    Comedy in the ’90s would never have been the same without Adam Sandler, Dana Carvey, SNL, and the great, late, Chris Farley. This was back when watching SNL meant actually staying up late on a Saturday night, and missing it meant that you’d be lost to all the jokes told around watercoolers and school lockers that Monday morning. Just as the generation before experienced great loss with John Belushi, the death of Chris Farley rocked our world, and twenty plus years later, we’re all still grieving his loss. The world is so full of loss these days that many of us may not have realized how we still grieve for…

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  • Gettin' It On

    3 Truths About The Three-Date Rule

    The dating world is such a weird place to live. Nobody uses recent photos of themselves online, nobody tells the truth about themselves offline, and after almost every date you’re left with a sense of wanting to join a convent somewhere and swear off men for life. Of course, if you join a convent you’re stuck fending off priests, so that might be just as bad. Still, the dating world sucks. One of the sucky things that I always hated was the three-date rule. That idea that if you don’t put out by date three, you’re either destined for the “friend-zone” or the just straight-up calling it off. 3 Truths…

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